Op ed National post

Issues and Ideas p19
Friday, December 16, 2005

And now, a message from The Sex Party ...

by John Ince

Under the guise of protecting children, adults act on their own irrational anxieties

What sexual information is unsuitable for young people? This question is at the heart of a recent front page story in the National Post.

The Post reported that after three complaints from parents, the Famous Players theater chain ended a promotional give-away of wrapping paper produced by Virgin Mobile. It showed angels kissing. A tiny detail reveals a male angel's hand on the female's breast, and the female angel's hand on the male's crotch, all outside their angel clothing.

"Clearly it wasn't suitable for children," stated a Famous Players rep.

"They crossed the line with this one," complained a parent. He thought the image inappropriate even for the 16- and 17-year-old staff at the theater.

The same week, Corus Entertainment cancelled a television advertisement on the cable channel that displays its daily schedule. The ad showed the products sold by Womyn's Ware, a tasteful Vancouver sex toy retailer. A Corus exec explained that the ad was pulled because of "the concern that younger viewers could be watching."

Underlying these and many similar cases is the idea that the sexual information at issue is unsuitable for kids. But ask the people who make such claims to back them up with real evidence, and you draw a blank. (When I questioned a parent why he objected to the angel-themed wrapping paper, he replied: "Have you seen it?" as if the reason for his protest was self-evident.)

Nor could executives from Famous Players or Corus explain why the material they yanked is unsuitable for children.

According to Alex Mackay, PhD, associate editor of The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, "there is no good evidence to suggest that sexual information or imagery is harmful to children." Sexuality expert Dr. Miriam Kaufman of the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto, says "depicting adults as sexual is not harmful to children."

Vancouver sex therapist and columnist Pega Ren agrees. "Children are not harmed by seeing images of adults in romantic, sensual, or even sexual embraces," she says. "In fact, this may be their best and most wholesome form of sex education."

Why would parents complain about harmless material and why would media executives act on their complaints?

There is a simple explanation. A child who sees angels groping on wrapping paper, or sex toys on TV, may ask a parent for an explanation. But many parents are averse to discussions about sex with anyone, especially their kids.

Blocking childhood access to all sexual information is therefore a strategy to avoid the anxiety many adults feel about honest talk about sex. Under the guise of protecting children, adults act out their own fears.

Such behaviour in fact harms our youth. It sends toxic messages about sexuality. "What could possibly be the message, other than body shame, when adults suggest that heavenly bodies gently touching one another is inappropriate and shocking?" says Dr. Ren. Dr. Kaufman expresses a similar concern: "I worry that when parents react strongly to something like this, kids get the message that sexuality is bad."

When harmless images provoke controversy, anxiety and corporate censorship, young people learn that sex is loaded with negativity. "It is a legacy often painfully unraveled in the offices of therapists and, sadly, divorce lawyers," warns Ren.

In contrast, when children see such images in the presence of their parents and observe that nobody gets upset, children learn the beneficial lesson that sex is a regular and normal part of life.

Fifty years ago, media executives refused to portray images of ethnic minorities for fear of offending racist majorities. Today, they legitimize another type of baseless fear, and one just as dangerous.

John Ince is the author of The Politics of Lust, and leader of The Sex Party.

© National Post 2005
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